Part Two, Nothing But Pain
by Paffy
Summary: Part 2/7. How does Ginny cope with a new year at school where she's constantly bullied by those she calls her friends, and who will step in to save her when things go wrong?
1. The Hogwarts Express

"Hey Ginny! How was your summer?" shrieked a voice across the crowded platform. 

I turned around, trying to locate the voice in the mass of people, and finally noticed a short, blonde haired girl running wildly towards me. I sighed inwardly, but put on a happy smile. 

"Tara! Hi, how brown are you?" I asked, noticing that my fellow Gryffindor's usually pale, typical English skin was deeply tanned, and flaking slightly on her nose. 

"I know, isn't it great!" she proclaimed, holding out her arm next to mine. It was really quite extraordinary how pale I could be. 

"Was France good then?" I asked unenthusiastically as we heaved our heavy trunks onto the crowded steam train. 

"Brilliant. I got sea-sick on the ferry, but that wore off, and Dylan was being a pain in the neck as usual, but apart from that...Brilliant" she babbled. 

We found a compartment at the end of the train, full with girls from my year and below, that shared Gryffindor tower. I put on another brave smile and waited for the onslaught. 

"Hello Ginny"

"Have a good summer?"

"Good to see you again"

I tried to answer the barrage of questions that was sent my way as best I could, whilst trying to find a spare seat by climbing over all the bags, feet and cats that were all occupying the floor space. I tried to look suitably interested as the compartment of chattering schoolgirls all tried to tell everyone what they had done over the holidays at the same time, and sighed inwardly when the new topic was bought up.

"So, who are you going to ask to the Halloween Ball?" said one curly haired girl, squished against the window looking impossibly excited. 

"There's a Ball?"

"How do you know?"

"Have you got dress robes?"

"Who are you going to ask?"

I smiled slightly to myself, as the girls started comparing dresses, and possible dates, and for once I felt like just any other normal teenage girl, slightly excited at the prospect of going to a dance, but I knew the one person I wanted to go with, wouldn't ask me. 

Ever since the frankly bizarre and highly embarrassing summer Harry had spent at the Burrow, I'm surprised he can still look at me without laughing out loud. The truth was, I made a complete fool of myself, and although everything had been sorted and I'd even become friends with him, I was still hiding a secret. The end of last year, I got over my crush on Harry, but to my amazement and shock, it had been replaced by something stronger. Love. And I blush every time I think about it, because it sounds just like one of those muggle romance novels, stupid and very cliché. But I've always believed in love at first sight. And the first time I ever saw Harry for real, a year before I started Hogwarts on the Kings Cross platform, I knew. 

"Ohhhh" squealed a little mousy haired girl from the middle of the crowd, "Wouldn't it be just amazing if Harry Potter asked me?"

Most of the cabin adopted dreamy expressions, all fantasising about going to the Ball with a certain black haired, green-eyed boy in the year above them. I felt myself adopting the same dreamy expression and instantly dismissed it and became stony faced. It's a mark of how much I've changed from the girls around me. I used to get all dreamy eyes and starstruck every time I'd see Harry, just like they do. But now after the summer holidays, I just couldn't see him as the boy-who-lived, or the Quidditch star. I'd see him as just Harry. I still couldn't help but feel the familiar flutter in my stomach though when I saw him, or be awfully self-conscious when I spoke to him, but mostly I was ok, not the old, stupid and slow Ginny back in my first year. 

"Ginny?" came a questioning voice from beside me. 

Obviously I had been daydreaming because they whole compartment of girlish faces where turned towards me expecting me to answer some question I hadn't heard.

"Sorry, I was miles away. What did you say?" 

At this the girl, Sara I think her name was, gave her characteristic schoolgirl giggle, and raised her eyebrows at me. 

"I said, have you got your eye on anyone special for the Ball?" she repeated, rolling her eyes at me. 

"No-one special" I lied, and apparently not to well because the compartment echoed in shrill giggles again. 

"Aw come on Ginny...everyone knows who you'd like to ask to the Ball" said another girl accompanied by suggestively waggling eyebrows.

"What? You mean she's going to ask Neville...again?" asked Sara with mock horror, much to the delight everyone else. 

I felt my face flush as I watched my so-called-friends all having a good laugh at my expense. I wasn't ashamed of going to the ball with Neville last year, well not much anyway. But everyone seemed to find it so hilariously funny, that when gossip was low on the ground, they liked nothing more than to bring it all up.

I waited patiently for the laughter to die down, and soon the conversation was taken up with excited chatter about hair this time. I sighed to myself as I tried to get involved in the normal thing teenagers like to talk about, but my heart wasn't in it. All I could think about was escaping this hell-hole and finding my own quiet compartment, where I could maybe draw a picture or catch a bit of sleep. My nightmares had become less frequent since I managed to win a small battle against my memories this summer, but I still had them once in a while and last night was no exception. I quietly contemplated slipping out, maybe in search of Fred and George, they were always fun to hang around with, and I tried to creep out of the compartment unnoticed in search of some laughter that wasn't at my expense.

"Going to see lover boy Ginny?" shrieked a voice when I was out in the corridor, accompanied by gales of laughter.

I cringed slightly as I marched down the empty corridor, head held high pretending I didn't hear the comments being shouted down the train. I was only a door down from them when a voice startled me from my angry thoughts. 

"Hey Gin, you wanna play a game of cards?" I whirled round to see Harry hanging out of a compartment door, grinning slightly at me, and I realised to my horror that's my 'friends' had also stuck their heads out of the door. 

Please don't say anything I pleaded to them, and I tried to make my legs move from where they were frozen. To my utmost horror, the girls startled whooping and catcalling, which soon distracted Harry from my furiously blushing face. 

"You go girl!" 

"Treat her good Harry, she's very innocent" 

"Ohhhh Ginny, you sly fox you!" 

"Get in there Girl!" 

There were more calls followed by wolf whistles, and I prayed to whatever god was up there that the ground beneath me would just swallow me up, right then and there.

"Oh shut up you stupid cows!" I shouted, regaining the use of my legs and pushing past Harry to get into the compartment.

I sat down in a chair opposite Hermione, and looked up to see their shocked faces staring at me. My face was still impossibly red, but I was too angry to notice, this was just another demonstration of how caring my friends were. 

"Er Ginny? You feeling alright?" asked Ron slightly nervously, noticing my clenched fists.

"Yes I'm fine" I snapped back, staring moodily at the flashing scenery.

There was a lingering silence in the cabin, and I felt myself calm down a bit. Soon humiliation and frustration replaced the anger. Every time I seemed to get anywhere with Harry, something like this happened. It like living a permanent 'most embarrassing situation'. 

"So what about that game of cards then?" asked Harry eventually, after he stopped gaping at me.


	2. It's Because I'm A Weasley

__

Dear Diary, 

Well, this is my first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the best and finest school in the entire world, or so I think. This is going to be my home for the best part of four years, and it pains me to say this, but I don't have any real friends here. The episode today on the train just proved that much. I was mortified beyond belief, and that was all I could feel, apart from the anger at those that I was supposed to my friends. I have a few friends like Colin, or Jamie, and I have Ron, Hermione...and Harry, and even Fred and George, but no one my age, as close to me as Ron and Harry are. I can't seem to understand why, but I just seem to be different to all the other girls in my year. Maybe it was growing up with six brothers? 

Oh I can't be bothered now, it my first day as a fourth year, and I've already managed to mortify myself beyond belief, it must be some sort of record. Anyway, my lovely friends are telling me switch off the light and go to sleep, so I must do as they command, of course. 

Good Night

Love Ginny. 

"Ginny, turn off the light! Come on, it's late" said an irritable voice from the bedside next to me. 

"Fine, it's off, see" I said moodily, waving my wand at the small light that was hovering inside the curtains of my bed. 

"What were you doing anyway?" came a sleepy voice from across the room. 

"I was just writing my diary" I replied curtly, snuggling under the warm bedspread for comfort. 

"Not another one? You mean we've got to go through another year like our first, you up late every night writing in that thing?" came the first voice again.

I muttered something quietly under my breath, which they obviously didn't catch and tried to get to ignore their incessant whining.

"What do you write in there anyway?" asked one. 

"Harry of course, do you have to ask?" said another, amidst shrill laughter. I groaned to myself and pulled the pillow around my ears, which softened their voices until they died out a few minutes later.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts Ginny" I whispered to myself as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.

* 

The first few weeks of Hogwarts passed in a blur of lessons and long periods in the library doing homework. As usual the girls of Gryffindor tower were being their normal charming selves, and succeeding in turning my life into a misery. At least in the library I was surrounded by people other than Gryffindor, I liked to have a variety in my life. At Hogwarts you eat with the same people, had classes with the same people, lived with the same people. There are people in my year I've never even heard of, because we're so segregated. Not for the first time, I wished I had been put in a different house. Maybe my life would be a lot easier if I had been put in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? I don't deserve to be in Gryffindor anyway, when have I ever shown the slightest bit of bravery? Never, I'm sure I was only put in this house because I'm a Weasley. 

My moody thoughts followed me all day, and were not improved by a frankly disastrous transfiguration lesson. I was the only person to be given extra homework, simply because I couldn't get my teapot to turn into a turtle. I was still fuming at Professor McGonnagall's snooty voice informing me, much to the delight of my darling friends, that I would either have to be able to show her a properly transfigured teapot by next week, or join her in extra tuition lessons.

"Hey, Good luck Ginny, I really hope you get this transfiguration down" said Sara one evening, placing her hands on my shoulders and speaking as though she were talking to a toddler. 

"Yeah Ginny, it can be a bit hard, especially for those less able to do magic than others" said another, grinning slightly. 

"Don't stay up too long!" called one as they all walked up to their dorm, shrieking with laughter at my apparent inaptitude at even simple transfiguration.

I cursed myself for not retaliating, not making a stand for myself, and told myself – next time, next time I'll say something. I looked ahead to a night of studying, and wearily pulled my willow pattern teapot towards me. 

"Right...lets get this show on the road" I muttered, casting the spell and watching as my teapot did nothing other than shake slightly. I sighed, it was going to be a long night.


	3. Beware of Willow Patterned Shells

Nearly six hours later I was still up, critically examining my teapot through puffing, bleary eyes to see if the questionable turtle shell was actually my sudden aptitude for transfiguration, or that I was just going strange. Apparently I was just going strange, and once again I re-read my notes on the theory, trying desperately to figure out what I was doing wrong.

My eyes were sore and itching, and my hair kept annoyingly falling in front of my face, causing me to ram it into place with a pencil accompanied by a severe reprimand telling it on no uncertain accounts should it move from that position. 

I glanced at my watch, it was nearly 4 'o' clock in the morning, and I had made no headroom on my teapot. I muttered, cried and even pleaded with it to work – no of which seemed to do any good. I even contemplated throwing it across the room, but I doubt that would have worked either.

"Please, please work this time, I'm begging you" I pleaded with my teapot on my millionth attempt.

"Did anyone ever tell you it's not right to talk to household appliances?" came a voice from behind me I seriously believed was in my head. 

"No, strangely I missed that part" I told my new imaginary friend, while groaning with frustration as I examined the teapot, once again.

"What is the point anyway?" I muttered. 

"The point of what?" said the voice.

"What is the point in transfiguring a teapot into a turtle. Am I really going to be sitting in my house one day and think, 'Gee, what I really need right now is a turtle, and hey! What do you know, here's a teapot...I know, wouldn't it be cool if I could make a turtle out of said teapot?'" I ranted, waving the willow-patterned teapot around my head viciously. 

The imaginary person gave a snort of laughter as I cussed and cursed my teapot, hoping that whatever afterlife household appliances believed in, this one's would involve a lot of sharp instruments and possibly hammers.

"What am I doing? I'm talking to a teapot, I'm actually trying to bargain and bribe a teapot..." I said faintly, as I offered the teapot another ten galleons just to sprout a tail.

"Well, it's when it starts talking back you've got to be worried" laughed to voice.

"True...damn teapots...stupid turtles...who wants a turtle anyway? All green...eat lettuce...stupid, stupid me" I muttered to myself insanely. 

"Hey, are you feeling alright Ginny, you seen a little...preoccupied?" questioned the voice. I was about to reply that I was perfectly fine, and would be marvellous if I actually managed to get the damn teapot to turn into a damn turtle, when a cool hand was placed on my forehead. 

It gave me such a shock, that I jumped out of my seat causing my faithful teapot to fall the floor and shatter into a million pieces. I looked around wildly taking in the smashed teapot, and the arm, body and finally face that the hand belonged to. 

"Harry! You scared the life out of me!" I gasped, struggling to regain my composure and or sanity. 

He looked highly confused, and was watching me as if I was so escaped mental patient, which I told myself, I was doing a very good impression of. 

"I've been talking to you for the last five minutes" he said grinning slightly as he took in my dishevelled appearance.

"Oh yes, silly me," I said laughing nervously as I tried to release my hair from the pencils grip, which unfortunately had other ideas.

"What are you still doing up? It 4 am" said Harry watching me struggle with my hair. 

"Well if you haven't guessed by now, I'm having some trouble with turtles and teapots at the moment. I'm in so much trouble if I can't get this down" I moaned as I sadly regarded the remnants of the teapot that lay scattered across the floor.

"Come here" said Harry walking behind me, and I suddenly became a little more awake and aware. 

He reached up and started to pull fragments of my outrageously red hair from the knot the pencil had secured it with. I stood stock-still, acutely aware of my closeness to him and he pulled what seemed like masses of knotted hair out slowly. 

"You should talk to Hermione you know, she got 100% on her transfiguration exams every year, she's a master at the turtle-teapot thing. Mine always seemed to have willow patterned shells, or still breathe steam" laughed Harry from behind me. 

"At least that's something! I thought mine might be turning faintly green about three hours ago, but it was just my eyes I think" I said shaking my head. 

"Ouch!" I cried as I pulled my hair in his hand.

"Oh sorry, here don't move your head so much" laughed Harry as he placed his hand on my neck to keep me facing forward. 

I suddenly lost the ability to speak, coherently at least and we both lapsed into silence until the final piece of hair was pulled free. I turned around to thank him and came face to face with a pair of startling green eyes. My heart skipped a beat and my face flush as I gazed into them for slightly longer than was probably normal.

"Your pencil" said Harry in a sort of strangled voice as he held up the offending item.

"Er, thanks" I whispered taking the pencil and quickly turning away to put it in my case along with my other muggle writing things that dad bought me. 

I busied myself gathering my things, and packing them away, aware that Harry still hadn't moved from his spot, and I began to get self-conscious. My fumbling finger moved across the zip of my pencil case and I somehow managed to spill the contents across the floor.

"Damn" I muttered to myself as I bent down to retrieve my crayons and pencils that had rolled everywhere. 

"Here, let me help you" Harry said dropping to him knees. 

"Ow!" I cried, sucking in a breath as a long piece of the smashed pottery embedded itself in the palm of my hand down to my wrist as I dropped to the floor. I picked the long, pointed shard of pottery out and was greeted by a painful rush of warm blood that spilled across my hands and onto the red Gryffindor carpet. 

"Give it here" said Harry hurriedly. 

He pulled my hands towards him and wrapped it in his black robes, pressing down hard as he tried to stop it bleeding. I winced as I felt the throbbing pulse as the blood was pumped out of my hand and Harry sat on his feet as he held my hand up high. 

"It'll stop in a sec, then we'll take you down to Madam Pomfrey" Harry told me quietly, carefully peeping under the rolls of fabric at my hand which was really starting to sting.

I winced slightly as Harry pushed down really hard on my hand, occasionally glancing at it with a worried expression. I became aware that my hand was absolutely soaked in what must be blood, and Harry robes were glistening in the firelight. 

"Has it stopped yet?" I asked trying to see, but was blocked by Harry who was looking at it himself.

"No, not yet, it's quite deep as well, your not squeamish are you?" he asked as he pressed down tightly again. 

"I lived in a house with Fred and George for 14 years" I answered, smirking slightly.

"I'll take that as a no then" said Harry flashing me a worried smile. 

"Everything is going wrong today" I sighed in frustration as I tried to wiggle my fingers. 

"Come on Gin, it's only half four in the morning, how much has gone wrong today?" said Harry with a lopsided grin.

"I mean yesterday and today, oh I don't know. Just everything...I can't do it, I can't do transfiguration, I can't do potions...I'm so useless" I muttered, hoping against all hope that the tears in my heavy eyes would not fall.

"Everyone has rough days, and it's no great shame if you can't do potions...Hey don't cry Ginny, it'll be ok, Madame Pomfrey will sort you out" said Harry as another salty tear coursed down my cheek. 

Harry raised one hand and tried to brush the tear away, but looked extremely sheepish by the result. I lifted a heavy hand and brushed it away myself but when I looked down at my hands I saw with horror that it was glistening with red blood.

"Er sorry, that'd be my fault" said Harry, holding up a hand covered in dark red blood. 

I gave a choked laugh, and imagined how bizarre this would seem right now if anyone walked in. Me and Harry lying on the floor of the common room, with him cradling my hand and me wearing what looked like red tribal war paint trying not to cry. 

Very bizarre indeed. 

"God Ginny, you got water for blood or something?" asked Harry as he noticed just how much blood seemed to have seeped out of the deep cut along my arm and hand. 

He raised his hand to his face and pushed his hair out of his eyes with the back of his hand, as I watched dimly, laughing to myself as Harry trailed a long smear of blood along his cheek. I slid down off my backrest that the couch was providing, and I felt my head land of something damp and bony. I felt too tired to move. 

"Hey Ginny, now is no time to be falling asleep" said Harry worriedly, trying to pull me from his lap with his free hand.

"I'm alright" I murmured as he forced me to sit upright, "I'm just a little sleepy"

"Oh no you don't" cautioned Harry as I slid back down into his lap. 

I was feeling so tired, and my eyes were so heavy that I just wanted to fall asleep. I closed my eyes peacefully and let myself slip into sleep, dimly aware of someone shouting my name. 

"G'night...Harry..." I murmured thickly through the darkness.


	4. a'my in heaven?

Everything was dark, and I was dimly aware of muted sounds around me. It felt like I was underwater, with the words garbled and the sounds unclear. I tried to open my heavy eyelids, but was forced to squeeze them shut immediately at the invasion of light and sheer whiteness of wherever I was. 

Ever so slowly I opened and closed my eyes, trying to get them accustomed to the colour, but the effort was making me tired. 

"a'my in heaven?" I mumbled though my dry throat, squinting up into the whiteness around me. 

I must be in heaven, my sluggish brain reasoned with me, it's so white and everything was so calm. I must be in a cloud, maybe that's why it was so cold. 

"Not unless I'm an angel" came the distorted voice to my left, and suddenly there was an invasion of orange in my perfectly white cloud. 

"And I can assure you he's not" came another voice to my left. 

"Ginny?" asked a cracked voice from somewhere around me, "Are you ok?"

"m'ok, tired, want to...sleep" I murmured thickly. Just then an angel floated towards me, wearing a worried frown and a pair of glasses.

"arry? m'sorry got you...all dirty' I mumbled urgently, as this was something really important that had to be said. 

"Should have known you be the one to get her to start talking mate" said a voice from around me, laughing half-heartedly. 

"It's ok Ginny, how do you feel?" asked the voice from above me. 

"m'angels...come to take me...away" I muttered, whilst wondering whether God would want me in heaven, I was all bloody and dirty, I'd ruin his nice white clouds. 

"Why's she talking like that?" came a worried voice from somewhere in the haze, possibly this was God. 

"It the medicine we've given her, she'll be better once she's had a sleep and worn it off" came an authoritative voice from above.

Definitely God. 

"I'been good...you'll let me in...right?" 

"If you drink this Ginny, you can go wherever you like" God told me, spooning something down my dry throat.

"Is'my angel...taking me?" I managed to ask holding out my heavy arm to the black haired angel, before sleep gripped me and I was taken away. 

* 

Once again I opened my eyes to be greeted by an invasion of light, but it took only a few blink before my eyes grew accustomed to the colour and I could look around my surroundings. I realised I was in the hospital wing, lying in a pristine white bed wearing a white gown which was all stained down the right hand side. I noticed a red tube coming from above my head, and flowing down into my arm, where it was heavily bandaged.

I gave an experimental wiggle of my fingers and grimaced, as there was a sharp pain across my wrist and palm. I gave a small groan of pain and turned my heavy head to see a pair of large brown eyes staring at me. 

"Ginny are you awake?" ask the voice belonging to the eyes. 

"Mmmm I'm awake" I murmured, looking down at my brother. 

"We were so worried about you Ginny!" said Ron, jumping to my side. 

"Why, what's wrong?" I asked, still confused about why I was exactly sitting in the hospital wing. 

"You cut yourself, and lost a lot of blood, I thought I was going to lose you" he said anxiously, planting a firm kiss on my forehead in relief.

I smiled dazedly as thoughts from the previous night erupted in my mind, it was the teapot, and Harry helped me and I fell asleep. I lay back in my soft pillow as I recalled what happened, but my mind was a complete blank from when I fell asleep in the common room, to when I just woke up. 

"I fell down, onto the floor to pick up my pencils, and I cut myself?" I recalled, trying to straighten out my thoughts. 

"Ah so your awake Miss Weasley? Well you did have us worried for quite a while, I don't mind telling you that" the bustling matron who had just walked over to me told me. 

Ron stood at a respectful distance as the matron hovered around me taking reading from her thermometer, checking whatever it was in the bag above me, and filling out endless forms. 

"...now wiggle your finger, good , good. Now your thumb can you twitch that? Don't worry that's enough now" she said soothingly and I once again experiment with the movement of my hand. 

"I don't see what all the fuss is about, it was only a little cut in the palm of my hand" I said, still slightly confused. 

"Only a little cut? Hardly, that piece of pottery I think he said it was not only cut the palm of your hand deeply, but it also severed the main artery in your wrist. You lost three and half-pints of blood! Bear in mind that the human body only contain 8 that's a sizeable amount!" the Matron told me, much to the shock of myself and I think Ron. 

The matron bustled off to check on some other patients and Ron stayed with me for a while, talking quietly about his day at school and news from around the common room. 

"...and then of course you came in here so all in all you managed to get me out of three potions lessons!" said Ron happily, trying to find a light side to the situation. 

"Three! How long was I asleep for?" I cried, struggling to sit up.

"Four days"

"Four days?" I repeated faintly lying back down and Ron nodded an affirmative. 

"Speaking of lessons, I better go. I've got to tell Fred and George your awake, not to mention mom before I go to transfiguration. You don't mind do you?" he asked, as he got up to leave. 

I nodded my head mutely, told him I wanted to sleep anyway and rolled over, trying to get comfy with a tube sticking out of my arm. From my position on my side, I could see the tube let up to a bag hanging from a pole full of what suspiciously looked like blood. Where on earth did Hogwarts get blood from, I thought to myself as I drifted into an uneasy sleep.


	5. A Midnight Visitor

__

Dear Diary, 

I'm sorry I haven't written for so long, but I've only just regained the use of my hand. A week ago I accidentally slit my wrist on some pottery in the common room, and ever since then I've been in the hospital wing. 

Apparently I had to have what is called a blood transfusion, something I didn't realise wizards rely on, since it's a muggle thing. And once again I have to owe the fact that I'm alive to Harry Potter. Madam Pomfrey said that if he hadn't been there, and put pressure on my arm like he did, that I could have bled to death, right there on the Gryffindor carpet, and nobody would have know until the next morning. Imagine what the scene would have been like if I were found lying in a puddle of my own blood with my wrists slit? Everyone would have thought I'd tried to kill myself or something. At least my roommates would be happy. 

Actually that's a horrible thing to say, not even they would want o see me dead. I'm much more fun alive right? With all the confusion of my injury, I completely forgot something that happened just before. Harry had come downstairs to see me, and I was so preoccupied with my work, that I completely didn't register it was him, until he touched me. What a shock that was! And I nearly lost all capability to speak when he was trying to untangle my hair.

All my life the one thing I've wanted was to be close to Harry Potter, and the other night was the only time I will probably ever live my dream. It's kind of sad really, that at 14, I've done my greatest ambition, what's there left for me to do now? And when I turned around, and looked into his eyes, I felt something – like a little glimmer of hope. The smallest suggestion of a maybe. Like for the first time he'd seen me for who I am alone, not Ginny Weasley, his best friend sister granted, it wasn't exactly like I'd imagined it, but nethertheless. I love people playing with my hair, and I used to sit with mum for hours on end as she plait it and brush it.

Talking about mum, she was so worried about me, I've had two owls a day from her, and I've spoken to her once through a fire before she was finally satisfied that I was ok. So I was finally released from the clutches of Madam Pomfrey late this evening, and I still haven't seen Harry. Apparently every time he's been down to the hospital wing to see me, I either been unconscious or asleep. He's got so much Quidditch practise that he never turned up till late at night, and I was left completely drained by the whole thing so I've always been asleep. 

This evening I was greeted by a tired looking Fred and George who were shocked to see me out so soon, but as usual they didn't need any excuse for a party. Nearly everyone was there, including a tired looking Ron and Hermione and there was butterbeer and cakes from of suspicious origin and it didn't finish till nearly midnight.

I say nearly everyone was there because Harry wasn't. Ron told me he was exhausted from all the late nights, and had gone to bed early. I still haven't managed to thank him yet! Oh well I'll have to wait till tomorrow to see Harry. 

Love Ginny.

I put my diary underneath my pillow, and extinguished to small amount of light that was coming from the tip of my wand. I really didn't feel like waking up one of the brats, so I quietly pulled the covers over me, and looked at the full moon hanging in the sky, through the gap in my curtains surrounding my bed. I located a star, and made a wish on it and squeezed my eyes shut. 

I could hear the deep, even breaths of the other girls in the room, all soundly asleep and I tired to match my breathing to theirs, trying to hypnotise myself into sleep. Just them I became aware of another sound, slowly getting louder. My ears picked up as I recognised the sound of footfalls coming closer to my room. 

My memory raced back to my second year, when Sirius Black had managed to break into Gryffindor Tower and I gave an involuntary shudder. I wasn't sure what to do, so I lay still, holding my breath as the footsteps paused outside the door. Please keep on walking, I thought to myself, feeling my stomach plummet when the handle was silently turned and a tall figure slipped in.

I squinted through the darkness and saw the figure standing hesitantly by the door, as if not sure where to go. 

"Ginny?" came an uncertain whisper through the gloom, and my ears pricked up at the voice – it was one I recognised well. 

"Harry?" I asked, pulling my curtain aside to show where I was, "What do you want?"

"I, er, came to see how you were" he whispered back slightly stupidly. 

"Oh" was all I could say to that, as I watched him creep over to the side of my bed. There was a long silence and Harry seemed to be lost for words until he finally spoke again. 

"So are you alright?" he asked. 

"I'm fine now, all stitched up and magically healed" I said laughing nervously. 

I watched him as knelt by the side of my bed and laid his chin on his folded arms. He seemed to be extremely preoccupied with something, as if he was doing some serious thinking. I wouldn't have minded but he sat in silence for an awfully long time, just staring at me. 

"Er, Harry? Are you ok?" I asked eventually, startling him slightly. 

"I fine, I just wanted to tell you..." he began awkwardly, sighing in frustration, "...I just want to tell you that I'm sorry" 

"What for?" I asked blankly. 

"For lots of things. I'm sorry for not helping you the other night, for not getting you to the Hospital Wing sooner, I'm sorry...for...for" he said, trying to express whatever he was so sorry about. 

"What are you talking about? You saved my life – again. If you hadn't been there I would have bled to death, right there on the carpet" I said peering at me through the darkness. 

"I was the reason you smashed that damn pot in the first place" 

"Yes but I was the reason I actually put my hand on that piece" 

"Yeah, but I was the..." he started before I shushed him up.

"It's nobodies fault – just an accident – a stupid accident" I said soothingly. 

He nodded slowly, and resumed he thoughtful pondering on the side of my bed. I watched him for a while, taking in his crazily untidy hair, and vivid green eyes I could still see through the darkness. I think I could fall in love with him all over again, if I'd never met him before, and I sighed contentedly to myself, forgetting my fatigue – I could sit here like this all night long. 

But I noticed him frowning and I could almost hear his thoughts, he stupid, wrong thoughts. He's so busy protecting everybody, he thinks its his job, that he's the only one who can help people, who is responsible for anything and everything bad that happens.

"Hey, I can hear you Harry Potter. I can hear those 'what ifs' running around inside your head at the moment, just forget them ok? Everything turned out ok in the end" I said, smiling slightly at his dazed look at me. 

He grinned guiltily, and I gave what I hoped was a knowing smile.

"Top in my class at divination you know" I said with an exaggerated wink and a tap on my nose, which caused a grin to split across his face. 

His love of divination was widely known.

"Maybe you could give me some tips" he said laughing slightly.

"Well here's a tip, beware of household appliances...especially if there willow-patterned" I said mistily, hoping to make light of the recent situation. 

It must have worked because he gave a snort of laughter and I smiled myself noticing how his sad, haunted features were instantly transformed. 

"Who's there?" came a sleepy voice suddenly from the adjacent bed. 

The laugh caught in my throat and Harry's eyes opened wide with horror. I prayed to God that the girl, whichever one it was, would go back to sleep, if I was caught in here with Harry, it would be the end of my life for sure. 

"Sshh" I hushed frantically to Harry who was looking like a caged animal.

"Ginny is that you?" came another voice, the whole dorm seemed to be waking up. 

"Er yeah, it's only me, sorry if I woke you guys up" I said nervously, still staring in horror at Harry.

"Your back then?" said a high pitched voice. 

Both our eyes opened wide when we heard the curtain being drawn back from numerous beds, and I inwardly groaned at the path my life was taking, wishing I was a bit better a divination than Professor Trelawney thought I was.

I searched around for somewhere for him to hide, realising with a jolt that under my bed was crammed with boxes. The door was to far away for him to sneak through now and the only space I could find was the one offered by the curtains of my four poster bed. I gave a nervous gulp as I tried to decide what to do. 

"Get in!" I finally hissed through gritted teeth, holding open one of the curtains surrounding the bed. He jumped in silently and sat at the bottom of my bed, with the curtains drawn around him, still looking mildly shocked, and almost suffering a heart attack when the light was flicked on a few seconds later. 

'Don't move' I mouthed at him, grinning slightly at the look of pure horror still on his face. 

The other four girls from my room all crowded round me, with the look of lions that had just been handed their next meal on a plate. I knew that look well enough and I prepared for the onslaught, feeling confident that I could get rid of them in a few minutes. I groaned inwardly though, when I wondered what would be their latest line of attack, if they were going to bring up Harry, I would die from the shame...I prayed silently.

"When did you get back from the Hospital Wing?" asked one voice. 

"This evening, you must have been in bed when I got back" I said nervously licking my lips. 

"So Ginny tell me, what really happened to you?" asked another. 

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I heard that it wasn't an accident at all, I heard that you tried to kill yourself" proclaimed the girl in a sneering voice. 

The accusation came out of nowhere, and I felt liked I'd been punched in the gut. Kill myself? People thought I'd tried to kill myself? I felt slightly sick at the thought, but the girls around me seemed to think it was really quite interesting.

"Of...course not...d-don't be silly" I finally managed to stammer out. 

"Oh, Pity" said one followed by shrill giggles from the rest of the room. 

My stomach tightened, and I felt tears well up in my eyes. These girls didn't care how I felt at all, as long at they had something to laugh about, somebody to pick on. I'd never done anything to them, so why where they always on my case. It's a horrible thing to realise that there are people in the world that don't like you, that hate you, and I tried to blink back my tears. If they saw me crying that would juts be more fuel to the fire. "I bet I know why she did it" said another loudly after the giggles died down. 

"I didn't do anything" I whispered to the un-listening crowd.

"I bet she finally realised that she was never going to be good enough for the lovely Harry Potter, so she decided, What's the point?" said the girl simply, earning herself titters from the others as she pretended the slash her wrists. 

I felt my heart get crushed a little bit more, and I nearly forgot that Harry was just centimetres away from me. I felt so totally alone. The worst part was they were mirroring things I thought about myself a million times before. I wasn't good enough for him. 

"Shut up" I whispered tearfully, wanting nothing more to be left alone. 

"I don't blame you though Ginny, I mean what have you got to live for? Harry doesn't like you – he doesn't even notice you. I bet he thinks you're really pathetic you know...sweet, little Ginny, always following him around, always drooling at his feet. Worshipping the ground he walks on" laughed the girl spitefully.

I gave a dry sob, cursing myself for showing weakness in front of them and for not standing up for myself yet again. The sly giggles of the girls around me drowned out a second and hunched my shoulders. 

"Aw Ginny, don't cry...We're just telling you like it is honey – This is the real life sweetie, and you've got to get use to rejection" said one girl draping a companionable arm around my shoulder, acting like my best friend. 

I shrugged off her arm violently and ripped the curtain around me, leaving the girls no choice but to disperse, chattering happily about my pathetic life. The light was knocked off and the room was plunged into darkness. I continued to kneel of my bed, feeling the tears pour silently down my face. I tried to wipe them away roughly, but they still kept coming and I fell forward into my bedclothes so that the heavy fabric would drown on the sounds of my sobs. 

I felt the place where my head was resting dip down, and a hand reach down to my hair. I didn't care that he was here now, I just wanted to be alone, as usual, and work this out myself. Harry pulled me up gently and wrapped his arms around me and I rested my chin on his shoulder, acting just as pathetic as they said I was, and cried. I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually my tears subsided and I was lost in the feeling of just being there. Harry stayed there with me, until I was nearly half-asleep on his shoulder gently rocking. 

"Nobody should ever be told thing like that" he whispered in my ear after I was laid back onto my pillows. I felt him crawl off the bed and kneel back down beside me, I turned towards him and saw the glitter of his bright green eyes staring back. "You're the most beautiful, smartest, funniest person I know" he whispered again. 

I gave him a watery smile, something completely small and inappropriate for the moment I felt like I'd been waiting my whole life for. And this time I didn't blush, or stumble on my words.

"I could say the same thing about you" I said quietly. He gave me a small grin, planted a tiny kiss on my forehead and crept out of the room. 


End file.
